Just Itchy Feet or is it Time for a Change?

It’s a funny thing, not having to be anywhere. It can be either incredibly liberating or scary as hell, but with so many more inspiring images, intriguing stories and opportunities accessible to us more than ever before it’s a wonder that anyone can ever feel truly settled in one place.

The feeling that I get from the potential to whisk myself away to any number of destinations is almost indescribable and experiencing the true freedom of movement from backpacking is so enticing that it’s been hard to ever sit still since I got a taste for it and while I’m not climbing mountains, chasing sunsets or leaping off of cliffs every day the reality is that is exactly what I could be doing.
Whichever way I choose to look at it though I’m certainly doing those things a lot more than most people I know back home, and the only reason it feels this way is because of where I am right now.

See, the thing that’s been hard to wrap my head around is how normal this bubble of Queenstown feels when it’s actually the exact opposite.
Now, it’s a tourist town and dubbed the “adventure capital of the World” so what you see here is exactly what you get when you hear those words. It’s just not until you’re living in the middle of it all and have every other conversation peppered in with some discussion about skydiving, jet boating, rafting, hiking (you get the idea) that this quickly becomes the new normal and makes you feel incredibly lazy whenever you take a day off from those, or your job, and instead choose to kick back for some downtime (and maybe piece together your blog).

I enjoy those days though and I try not to feel guilty as I know that I’ve seen and done so much already but my itchy feet are coming back with a vengeance.
Being on the back of nearly a year in New Zealand, with many new stories to tell, experiences… erm… experienced and a fresh wave of nostalgia hitting me thanks to callbacks and travel blogs across social media that I can’t decide if I’m just missing the life on the road or if I really do need to change my situation again.

Now maybe these two are one in the same, after all, how better to make a change and scratch that itch than by embracing a trip to somewhere new and as the old saying goes, kill two birds with one stone?

Problem solved.

Well, yes and no. The thing is that I’m uncertain that it would help right now.
I’ve been digging myself out from a bit of rut recently and I’m not exactly ready to call it quits on New Zealand just yet. There’s the upcoming ski season to think of and the fresh (albeit short-lived and sporadic) dumps of snow across the peaks every few weeks rekindle my desire to stick around for that, but then a road trip with my former housemate and his brother made me realise how much I missed moving from place to place while simultaneously reminding me how much I miss my friends in Auckland who also want me to move back there; then I have the potential for a trip on the Trans-Siberian railway with another friend which is something that I really don’t want to miss; oh and then opportunities in Australia and Canada… then on the flip side of all of that I’ve also come around to the idea of getting back into life in London…

In essence, it may just look like I’m venting about having too many options and complaining about my lack of ability to make a decision (once again) and well, you’re not entirely wrong, but I wanted to discuss how these options and the myriad of choices in front of us define what we do and how in reality, at least from my perspective, it’s not necessarily apathy or laziness that causes indecision but rather the fear of making the wrong move and missing out that can stop us in our tracks.

There always comes a time where I figure it out and I’m able to work through the mental block or whatever it is that’s been holding me back but it’s always frustrating when I’m in the middle of it as in those situations, I find it harder to enjoy myself. It’s not a question of being comfortable in my own company but instead of being confident enough, once again, to make the big decisions.
I think that’s probably true for a lot of people though, travellers or not, and only when we’re at peace with our decision can we truly relax and make the most of where we are.
While there’s no great pressure to make an immediate move today, it’s really a matter of the sooner the better and I have to follow my own advice and what I discussed in my last post, about staying with it whilst I feel that I’m still benefiting.
I like travelling with my gut and while this current situation is a little different whenever I do eventually feel that I’ve gained everything that I can then, well, then I’ll finally make my move.